On Dwarves
“Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?”
— Gimli, The Return of the King
image inspired by an original 1977 painting by Heidi and Kim's father, Rene DeHaan
An aspirational timeline. Treat with appropriate skepticism — we’ve never actually run one of these on time.
“Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?”
The bars are pouring, the pianist is at the keys, and the food is already out. The first guests filter in, look around, find a drink. Costumes are being clocked from across the room. Straight out of the gate.
The food has been out an hour. The pianist has hit something everyone recognizes. Upstairs the conversations are getting good; downstairs a small crowd has formed with opinions about whose costume wins. Lore is being explained to very patient listeners. The room is warm, and the night is, in all the ways that matter, properly underway.
The hosts ask for everyone’s attention for a moment. This is the only thing on this list that might start on time. A few minutes, glasses raised. You’ll see.
We all gather, the Monster Mash is played, and we take a proper moment to admire each other. Hobbits, Vulcans, Targaryens, Bene Gesserit, smugglers from Tatooine — take a turn, take a look. Then back to dancing.
The cupcakes are gone — multiple, per person, nobody confessing. The costumes are properly askew by now. Arwen makes her move. We’ve got to get back in time — the 1980s — and the room answers like it was waiting. Nobody is getting put in a corner tonight. People who had firmly decided not to dance have apparently forgotten that decision. Life moves pretty fast, and somehow every single person here still knows every word. Whatever composure remained has walked itself to the dance floor and decided to stay. Don’t you forget about that.
Music ends per the venue’s hard rule, not ours. Guests need to be out by ten sharp — unless you’ve been kind enough to stay and help clean up, in which case endless gratitude. The after-party location will be announced at the party itself — we’ll let you know where the night continues. See you there.
The barn closes at ten on the dot. The after-party location will be announced on the night — back to the invitation.